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Writer's pictureMatt Fowler

You’ve Got a Friend in Me: What the Bible Shows Us About Friendship

About the time I was finishing middle school and preparing to start high school, two songs began taking up space in my heart: Simon and Garfunkel’s “Bridge Over Troubled Water” and Randy Newman’s “You’ve Got a Friend in Me” from Disney-Pixar’s Toy Story. Obviously, “Bridge Over Troubled Water” was an “oldie” when I became conscious of it, and Toy Story premiered in 1995. But there was, and is, something about these songs that captured my ear and heart. (Perhaps it didn’t hurt that I was a choir geek and one of the high school groups, which I hoped to be in one day, sang “Bridge”). If you can, I encourage you to give both of these songs a listen. You can find them on YouTube here: “Bridge” and “You’ve Got a Friend.”  


Even without the beautifully catching melodies consider some of these songs’ lyrics.


From “Bridge Over Troubled Water”:  

“When you're down and out When you're on the street When evening falls so hard I will comfort you I'll take your part, oh, when darkness comes And pain is all around Like a bridge over troubled water I will lay me down Like a bridge over troubled water I will lay me down” (Paul Simon, Art Garfunkel, 1970). 


From “You’ve Got a Friend in Me”: 

If you've got troubles, I've got 'em too There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you We stick together and can see it through Cause you've got a friend in me You've got a friend in me (Randy Newman, 1995). 

From these stanzas alone, we see friendship as something that gets us through, something that helps us cross over that which is raging in our lives, and that which can be counted on through thick and thin. These are beautiful sentiments, and the relationships they reflect are ways through which we experience God’s grace active in our lives; however, the problem is that making and maintaining friendships can be difficult, and there’s a lot to suggest that we’re not all that good at friendship lately.


For example, in May 2023, Vivek Murthy, the US Surgeon General, issued an advisory (“Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation”) calling attention to the public health crisis of loneliness, isolation, and lack of connection in our country. These are some of the claims made and explored in the general advisory to the nation. Even before the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic, approximately half of U.S. adults reported experiencing measurable levels of loneliness. Disconnection fundamentally affects our mental, physical, and societal health. In fact, loneliness and isolation increase the risk for individuals to develop mental health challenges in their lives, and lacking connection can increase the risk for premature death to levels comparable to smoking daily. It leads to connections that are unhealthy, distorted and manipulated into violent actions. Perhaps we could say that Americans are facing a crisis of friendship. The average American hasn’t made a new friend in the last five years. For example, nearly one in five Americans report having no close social connections. Fifteen percent of men have no close friendships at all, a fivefold increase since 1990. And, ironically, this decline in the number of close friendships, the time spent with friends, and the spaces in which friends do friend things has occurred at a time when the technology in our pockets would have us believe we are more connected than ever.


If any of the Surgeon General’s data and analysis is accurate, and I tend to think he’s onto something, then we have a problem. More, if Simon and Garfunkel and Randy Newman are at all accurate, at least part of the problem is that, with fewer friends, then we have fewer bridges over the troubled waters of our lives. And, if friendships are, as I believe the Bible shows us, ways through which we experience God’s grace in our lives, then we may be missing out on ways God is seeking to work God’s love, mercy, and transformation in our lives.


This fall, we are exploring several friendships in the Bible, where we will see how God reveals Godself through meaningful friendships, comforts and sustains us, and actively works in the midst of our hearts, minds, and lives. The Bible offers us many examples of healthy friendships and how to navigate friendships when they’re not easy. In the month of October, we’ll explore a variety of friendships in the Bible, and in November we’ll explore when friendships aren’t easy or hurt.


Here's a List of Sermons and Texts: 

October 6 – Fierce Friends – Ruth and Naomi (or, Friendships Born of Shared Experiences) 

  • Ruth 1:1-5, 11-13, 16-19; Proverbs 17:17; Romans 8:28 

October 13 – Best Friends Forever – David and Jonathan 

  • 1 Samuel 18:1-4; 1 Samuel 20:41-42; Proverbs 22:11; Proverbs 27:9 

October 20 – Praying Friends – Daniel and his Friends 

  • Daniel 2:17-23; Job 16:20-21:20; Job 42:7-11; James 5:14b-15a  

October 27 – I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends – Stretcher Bearers  

  • Mark 2:1-12; (Matthew 9:1-8) 

November 3 – All Saints – What Happens When Friends Die? (David at the death of Jonathan) 

  • 2 Samuel 1:1-4; 11-12; 17-27 

November 10 – Can We Still Be Friends? (Paul and Barnabas)  

  • Acts 13:1-3, 42-43; 15:36-41 

November 17 – When Friends Betray Us (Judas with a Kiss)  

  • Mark 14:10, 17-21, 41-46; Philippians 2:5-1; Proverbs 27:6 

November 24 – When Friends Blow It  

  • John 21:15-19; Proverbs 17:9; Matthew 16:21-23; Mark 8:31-33; Luke 9:22


The words "You’ve Got a Friend in Me: What the Bible Shows Us About Friendship" over a blue wall with clouds.

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